Scientifically Screwed
by Likefireneedsair
Summary: It appears that Salazar, Meechum and Rylander had one hell of a wild night. Too bad neither of them can remember a single bit of it.
1. Chapter 1

_just a warning, I wrote chapter 1 because i might made a few more chapters but i am great a starting things and absolutely horrible at finishing them so I may or may not write up more._

_I've reread it but I am tired and may or may not have missed a mistake or two so please try and read past them._

_Please Enjoy!_

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Rylander stood up groggily, back popping as he tried to rub the sleep as well as the massive headache from behind his eyes. He took a moment to look through blurred eyes.

"Where the. . ." The room he seemed to be in was a shabby hotel. As he continued to look around at the slightly trashed room he began to walk toward where he was sure the bathroom was located. Suddenly he began to trip on a comforter that laid upon ground and tumbled over the lump under it. Rylander continued to lay there for a second until the lump under him shifted. He jumped back when it began to groan but quickly relaxed when incoherent Spanish came muffled from under the comforter. He sighed, relieved it was just Caesar. Raising his eyebrow he wondered why the young scientist was curled up on the ground.

Hearing a loud crash his head snapped to left to determine the source of the noise. A movement he instantly regretted when his vision swam and stomach flipped.

"What the hell?" Peter said sitting up from the couch, pushing off various cans and what appeared to be a boa. He looked around the room until his eyes fell upon his coworker and friend whose head rested in his hands.

"Gabe?" He asked when the man in question turned to meet his eye and he continued. "Where the hell are we?" Meechum asked dragging his legs off the couch.

"A hotel room it seems." Rylander answered shrugging his shoulders. He furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes as he examined Meechum's arm.

"Pete, what's that on your arm." The man looked down at is left then his right. At first he was going to question why his sleeve was ripped off but then he saw three thin needle like things protruding from his upper arm. He reached up with his left and plucked out the one the stuck out the most.

"Ow! Shit." He said rubbing the spot where it once was. Meechum tried to focus as he studied the thing that was previously in his arm. "It, looks like some sort of quill." He said looking back at his friend. Meechum furrowed his brow. "Where the hell are your pants?" Surprised Rylander looked down to see himself in his boxers wearing god knows whose flip flops.

"Okay there is no way we drank enough to be this hung over." Rylander said massaging his temples, both trying to recall the events of the previous night. Hearing a groan he was reminded of Caesar who was curled up in the comforter behind him. "You okay under there Caesar?" Rylander said, picking himself up and continuing towards the bathroom.

"Creo que va a estar enfermo y si siento que mi cabeza va a implosionar." Came his muffled reply.

"English, Caesar." Rylander explained. He turned waiting for the younger man to reply but he was silent. "Caesar?" After another short moment he answered.

"There is an e.v.o. under here." He said. Both older men look at each other with matching expressions of confusion.

"Exucse me?" Meechum asked as if he misheard. Slowly Caesar sat up and removed the comforted to reveal a small, pale e.v.o. curled up against him. They all sat in silence unsure of what to say. Curiously Caesar reached down and pets the menacing looking thing on what appeared to be its head. Despite its large fangs and sharp quills on its back, the moment it began to make a purr-like noise at his touch Caesar couldn't help but think of how cute it was.

"Well it appears to be harmless." Caesar said as he continued to stroke the e.v.o.s head.

"Harmless my ass, I bet that thing is responsible for the quills stuck in my arm." Meechum snapped back thrusting his arm forward to show him the damage. Looking up, Caesar, tilted his head as his eyes skipped over the quills and went straight to Meechum's head. While Meechum's brows rose as he got a good look at the younger man's face. Both men then spoke in unison.

"What happened to your face?"

"Why is your tie on your head?"

Meechum reached up feeling the tie wrapped around his cranium and yanked it off. While Caesar looked questioningly up at Rylander.

"Holy crap Caesar did you get in a fight?" Rylander asked, somehow knowing he wouldn't remember the events of last night along with the older men. And having a hard time imagining Caesar in a actual, physical fight. Caesar tiled his head in question. What he couldn't see was the large bruise on his cheek and the line of dried blood at the corner of his mouth that went down to his chin. Shaking his head, Rylander began walking towards the bathroom for the third time. This time he actually made it to the door and as soon as he opened his he slammed it shut causing the two men behind him to flinch.

"Jesus Gabe, what was that for?" Snapped Meechum in a hushed, angered tone.

"There is an e.v.o in here." Rylander said staring at the door.

"Wow great observations skills you got there Doctor Rylander. I too see that there is indeed an e.v.o. in this very room." Meechum mouthed while he rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the couch.

"No, I mean there is a big e.v.o. in the bathroom." Both Meechum and Caesar looked at each other and then towards Rylander. With a skeptical eye brow raised, Meechum made his way towards the bathroom. Once again the bathroom door was opened only to be slammed seconds after. Both older scientists silently stared at each other.

"Rex? Mijo where are you." Caesar called as loud as he could with the head throbbing pain in his skill. He remembered his younger brother who tagged along the night before has yet to make an appearance. All three waited but no response came. Meechum and Rylander began to look around the room only to find the young teen was nowhere to be found.

"He must have been called to an emergence last night" Rylander reasoned. "Why don't we give him a call, maybe he can clarify what happened last night." Without needing to be asked Caesar raddled off Rex's memorized number for the older man to call. Rylander went over to the hotel phone and dialed in the number. Within seconds of dialing an odd music began to play from the couch. Being closest Caesar crawled over to pick up the cell phone blaring the awful loud ringtone.

"That's odd, Rex never leaves his phone." Rylander said hanging up the phone. Once again silence spread through the room. After staring at the cell, Caesar cursed for the first time in a long time when he looked up at the men who gathered next to him.

"So where the hell his Rex?"


	2. Chapter 2

This is proving to be hard because I am trying as hard as I can to keep them in character but I also am making them with a hangover and you are not particularly yourself when you are hungover. That, I am really tired because it's now almost seven in the morning so I've been thinking this one up for a couple hours. I'm thinking I don't need to finish a chapter in one day.

Hope you enjoy! More and funnier chapters to come!

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The three scientists sat there, looking at each other. No one had any clue as to what the hell happened or where Rex was. Nor did they know where they were and how they got there. For the third time Caesar looked down at Rex's cell. Only this time he practically dropped it when it suddenly began to ring. Without hesitation Caesar answered it as soon as he saw that it was Noah calling.

"Hello? Rex? I went to Providence so we could hang and Holiday said you were on some kind of family trip with your brother . . . Rex?" Noah asked and with those words Caesar's hope that Rex was with his best friend were crushed.

"Ah, no, this is Caesar. Rex is . . . unavailable right now." He muttered, realizing how thirsty he was all of a sudden.

"Oh" was all Noah said and the two sat in an uncomfortable silence over the phone. Caesar cleared his throat searching for something to say to break the awkwardness. "Well" Noah continued "can you tell him to call me back . . . when he is available . . . Okay . . . bye." With that Noah hung up and Caesar turned to the older men who now sat in front of him on the couch.

"Perhaps we should call Six for assistance." Caesar suggested already going to Rex's saved numbers.

"I don't think so" Meechum said, quickly snatching the cell from Caesar's hand and closed it. "Last thing we need is ninja nanny on our ass."

"But what it he's heard from Rex?" Caesar protested. He will admit that in the condition he was in now, Six was the last person he wanted to converse with but he was worried about his little brother.

"Pete's right Caesar, if Six knew of Rex's whereabouts then they would have informed Noah and he wouldn't be calling to find him. Look he can't be too far off. For all we know he is down eating breakfast." Rylander explained trying to quell the younger man's worry. Caesar huffed in agreement as he wrapped the comforted around him over his shoulders while he stood up and made his way over to the bed. Both men raised their eyebrows at the odd sight of the younger man bundled up in the large off-white comforter.

Caesar stretched his back before he turned to plop down on the bed. He was surprised when he dropped lower than he expected and the surface his butt landed on was hard. He laid back and groaned feeling awful and annoyed that he didn't realize there was no mattress on the box spring he was now laying on. All was silent for a moment before he hears a snort from across the room. Meechum and Rylander tried to hold it in for the younger man's sake but the sight of him just plopping down on the box-spring followed by the groan was too much. Within second both older men were cracking up as Caesar lifted his head to glare at them, failing to find how all of this was so amusing.

Seeing the glare, Rylander, raised his hands in surrender. He couldn't help but smile fondly at how much he looked like his father at that moment. But at the same time he was the small annoyed boy glaring at his father's friends. When the laughing died down, Caesar began to rub his temples once again groaning at the pain that radiated from his head and spread through his body. Seeing this Meechum turned to his old friend.

"There is no way we drank enough to be this hung over." He stated reaching up to his arm to pluck out the almost forgotten remaining two quills from his upper arm, cursing under his breath when he decided to just yank them out. He looked up to glare at the creature reasonable but raised his eyebrows in surprise when it wasn't there. His panic diminished as he saw it seconds later making its way towards Caesar. His frown deepened and eyebrow twitched at the sight of it jumping up to cuddle the younger man who then reached to pet it's head as if he had the thing as a pet for years. It was that little shit that stabbed him in the arm with three quills and Caesar was petting it.

"You're right; I can't even remember anything after our fourth drink." Rylander stated rubbing the back of his head trying to think of what happened. "After we had our first we had two rounds on someone else." Without a pause Rylander looked up watching Meechum glaring at the small e.v.o. "Someone must have drugged the drinks. Damn and I let Rex have a couple drinks of my beer." Rylander rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands.

"Obviously we were drugged but who and why would they drug us. Who's going to drug a teen boy and two really old men?" Caesar said with one arm over his eyes the other petting the small e.v.o. curled up on his chest. Both Rylander and Meechum raised their brows at the sass and attitude in the usually more polite man's tone. Not only did he basically just say 'duh' but he then he proceeded to call them 'really old'. Thankfully Caesar never did things like this because hungover Caesar was getting more moody by the second. Shaking his head Rylander pushed himself up.

Meechum looked up at his friend. "You need to find you pants." He stated looking down at their feet. "And whose flip slops are those? What happened to your boots?"

"I don't know Pete." Rylander said simply as he began to look around for his pants. "None of us can remember anything; maybe I'll find the answers you keep asking with my pants." Sarcasm dripping from the end of his sentence. Rolling his eyes Peter also stood up and began to look around. He looked in Caesar's direction and sighed.

"Hey genius why don't you kick start that big brain of yours and help out." He said turning back to look under the couch. Without moving from his spot he removed his arm to look to the left. Conveniently it appeared that the pants were just to the left on the box spring he was currently sprawled out on. He grabbed them and without a word threw them in what he guessed was Rylander's direction. Grumbling the man flicked off the flip flops for a moment to slip into his pants.

"Okay now that we all have our clothes why don't we go see what they have for breakfast. And see if Rex is currently eating all of it."


End file.
